Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Me and the Fertile Dental Hygienist (FDH)

So, I went in for my dental cleaning last week. Here is the scene:

Fertile dental hygienist (FDH): How are you doing?

Sara: Good, how are you?

FDH: I'm great. Lot's has happened since your last cleaning 6 months ago. I got married in June. . .

Sara: That's great. Congratulations.

FDH: . . . and I'm pregnant. I just found out.

Sara: That's so great. I'm so happy for you.

(Sara sits in dental chair, opens mouth wide, and FDH begins to scrape)

FDH: What about y'all? I forget, have you started trying yet?

(FDH takes implements out of Sara's mouth to hear answer)

Sara: Yep, we started trying almost a year ago.

FDH: Oh, I have a friend who was trying for a year and went to the Doctor and got a prescription and before she even got it filled, she found out she was pregnant.

Sara: That's great. I have an appointment in a few weeks, that would be great if it happened to me.

(FDH resumes cleaning)

FDH: I don't know. We weren't even really going to start trying for a year of so, but decided to stop preventing and just see what happens. I guess I'm just a fertile myrtle. I just didn't want to wait a year I guess because I'll be 30 in a year and didn't want to wait that long. How old are you?

Sara: (muffled, trying to speak with dental implements in mouth) Firty-two (33)

FDH: Oh, so you know what I mean. So, do you keep your legs up after sex?

Sara: (muffled) Uh, huh. Tell me about your wedding. (trying to change subject)

FDH: What about stress? Do you and your husband have stressful jobs?

Sara: Actually, no, we're pretty laid back usually.

FDH: Well, you never know. My aunt didn't think she was stressed and tried for 5 years to have a baby. She changed jobs and got pregnant right away.

Sara: Hmmm. So, where did you go on your honeymoon?

FDH: What about caffiene? Do you and your husband drink caffiene?. . . . .

So, lots of fun at the dental hygienist. I was telling my mom about it and she said, "Oh, I ran into so and so and she said you should try taking Geritol". She totally missed the point of my frustration, I guess. Argh!! My husband doesn't really get it either. He said, "Well, she was just trying to help."
Which I know is true, but I mean how uncomfortable can you get? It's not like I could go any where--having to answer all those questions when you can't move and have dental instruments in your mouth was like torture. I can see the humor in it, though, which is why I'm sharing it with all of you.

In other news, I have three baby showers to go to this week.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

A disheartening news story

Baby tests positive for cocaine; parents jailed

Saw this news story this morning. The mother admitted to using crack cocaine while breastfeeding. It's just so sad, and it makes me so angry. Cruel for the baby most of all, of course. But, it also feels cruel to me at the moment as I fear this last cycle has failed. It just makes me want to give up. I feel bad even complaining since there are others so much more deserving than me. If this has taught me anything it's that there's no rhyme or reason, no fairness involved in this pursuit. Please forgive the melodrama.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

10 things

Tagged by JKH here are 10 things I . . .

Hate: (in no particular order)
talking endlessly about a problem without talking about a solution
my credit card debt
my waist
when people (including me) are smug
when people won't even listen to viewpoints different from theirs
ashamedly a certain gm-in-law
spotting and aunt flo
my own laziness
REALLY hot days like today

my wonderful DH
staying in bed
my family
my puppy
the mountains in North Carolina
my church
my friends (near and far)
beautiful gardens