Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Me and the Fertile Dental Hygienist (FDH)

So, I went in for my dental cleaning last week. Here is the scene:

Fertile dental hygienist (FDH): How are you doing?

Sara: Good, how are you?

FDH: I'm great. Lot's has happened since your last cleaning 6 months ago. I got married in June. . .

Sara: That's great. Congratulations.

FDH: . . . and I'm pregnant. I just found out.

Sara: That's so great. I'm so happy for you.

(Sara sits in dental chair, opens mouth wide, and FDH begins to scrape)

FDH: What about y'all? I forget, have you started trying yet?

(FDH takes implements out of Sara's mouth to hear answer)

Sara: Yep, we started trying almost a year ago.

FDH: Oh, I have a friend who was trying for a year and went to the Doctor and got a prescription and before she even got it filled, she found out she was pregnant.

Sara: That's great. I have an appointment in a few weeks, that would be great if it happened to me.

(FDH resumes cleaning)

FDH: I don't know. We weren't even really going to start trying for a year of so, but decided to stop preventing and just see what happens. I guess I'm just a fertile myrtle. I just didn't want to wait a year I guess because I'll be 30 in a year and didn't want to wait that long. How old are you?

Sara: (muffled, trying to speak with dental implements in mouth) Firty-two (33)

FDH: Oh, so you know what I mean. So, do you keep your legs up after sex?

Sara: (muffled) Uh, huh. Tell me about your wedding. (trying to change subject)

FDH: What about stress? Do you and your husband have stressful jobs?

Sara: Actually, no, we're pretty laid back usually.

FDH: Well, you never know. My aunt didn't think she was stressed and tried for 5 years to have a baby. She changed jobs and got pregnant right away.

Sara: Hmmm. So, where did you go on your honeymoon?

FDH: What about caffiene? Do you and your husband drink caffiene?. . . . .

So, lots of fun at the dental hygienist. I was telling my mom about it and she said, "Oh, I ran into so and so and she said you should try taking Geritol". She totally missed the point of my frustration, I guess. Argh!! My husband doesn't really get it either. He said, "Well, she was just trying to help."
Which I know is true, but I mean how uncomfortable can you get? It's not like I could go any where--having to answer all those questions when you can't move and have dental instruments in your mouth was like torture. I can see the humor in it, though, which is why I'm sharing it with all of you.

In other news, I have three baby showers to go to this week.


Kim said...

Yuck. As if going to the dentist isn't bad enough.

And sorry about the 3 showers. Those are always rough. Hang in there!

andrea_jennine said...

Ugh. Ignorant comments and baby showers are two of my least favorite things. But you're right, we need a sense of humor to put up with it!

Found you through Mel's infertility newsletter; always nice to "meet" another Christian infertility blogger!

noswimmers said...

Some people need to learn when to shut up! It made me laugh a little though, thinking of someone trying to talk while getting their teeth cleaned.

About the baby showers...don't feel like you have to go. If it's just too hard, it's okay to skip.

The Town Criers said...

For the love--like a trip to the dentist isn't stressful enough without having to endure that conversation? Sorry, sweetie.

Glenna Marshall said...

Found you through links on other infertility blogs. Wow--I hate conversations like that!! I've had many of them (we've been TTC since April of 2004), and they never really get easier, except I've learned to laugh at them. The most notable one was when I was telling a lady at church about our upcoming infertility appointments and was saying how uncomfortable it is to have your most private life exposed and dissected by doctors. This lady laughed and said, "Wait until you have a colonoscopy--you'll be WISHING you were having infertility treatments done!" She proceeded to laugh while I fought tears and anger at having the grief and sadness and embarrassing moments of the past 3 and a half years of my life compared to a colonoscopy.
I definitely know how awkward those conversations can be!

I'm also on Clomid (my second month). I hope it works out well for you! Beware the hot flashes! :)

charlotte fairchild said...

Since no doctors or pharmacists will mention Stanford University's study on Fertility Blend, and no preacher will mention Fertile Prayers: Daily Fertile Prayers, and no one will talk about thrush in your mouth, I will mention these three topics. Fertility Blend has a 30% success rate (Clomid has 12% with higher miscarriage, and the surgeries have a 16% success rate). Fertility Blend can increase orgasms, as well.

Fertile Prayers is a daily devotional for people TTC, pregnant, and also experiencing trials and struggles like showers, miscarriage, and life. Harvard did a study and people who meditate/pray have a 50% better chance with every medical condition they have studied. You can buy the ebook for $4.95, or spend 2K or 3K with Harvard to get pregnant. But you won't be praying to God, you will be doing Yoga with Harvard.

Thrush is a low grade infection and every woman should ask to be tested. If you have Thrush in your mouth, you have it in your entire digestive system--and low grade infection causes infertility/sterility/miscarriage according to one human study and 30,000 study sites for horses. Go figure--horses are a cash "crop" and no one loses money on miscarriage and infertility so why study it?
http://www.fprayers.blogspot.com for links supporting these outrageous claims!